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Small Kids, Small Business, and Holding it All Together

January 1, 2020 by Nicolle Fuller Leave a Comment

Running a small business with small kids is no small feat.Changing Challenges to Family/Freelancer Balance

Recently, I’ve been trying to consciously make changes to my small business and my life with small kids. That includes working to revamp my work outlook, and redesign my website and marketing to a more personal Personally, I have had to learn how to prioritize my small kids and personal time in order to not burn out with my small business.approach. In doing so, I’ve revisited my last attempt at a blog, back when my kids were 1 and 4. I managed about 4 posts before giving up. The upside is that I now have a record of what challenges I was dealing with then. Sadly, I’m not a journaler, so I don’t have a personal record beyond vague recollections. So although my blogging goal is a bit different now–I still want to record what family/work/life balance challenges I’m encountering.

The End of the Cuddle Era

My kids are still young. They still want to cuddle, they will still hold my hand in public and they still WANT to spend time with me. And yet, we’re close to the end. So very close to the time that my daughter (now 10) won’t want to acknowledge me. She flirts with it; one day scowling at me during drop-off and not-so-subtly signaling that I need to ignore her as she walks to her friends. While on other days she boldly asks me for a kiss before skipping off. I’m not very sentimental (or am I?), but I have to admit it breaks my heart a little bit. I logically acknowledge that it’s time, but…

Recognizing What I Can and Cannot Control

This realization has brought into stark relief that I need to savor this time. It’s hard to do. There are so many things out of my control. This world we live in leaves me alternating between gasping at its’ injustices and fears, and huddling down in ostrich mode, pretending others’ realities can’t be bad as they really are.

Then there are the things I can control, and perhaps that is even harder to admit. As talked about here, I found myself taking on more and more work. I am so easily caught in the trap of working all day, and then late into the night. After working with business coach Justine Clay I’ve made a concerted effort to stop working until I’m so tired the next day I can’t pay attention to what’s important to me. This past year, I’ve successfully cut out working late. Of course it still happens sometimes, but finally, it’s not the norm. With my newfound time, my intention is to spend more intentional time with my family. As well as spend more time recharging myself through exercise, excursions into the city and nature, and creative endeavors.

Success at Spending Time Where I Need?

This summer, things were finally starting to feel balanced. For the first time in recent memory, I got to actually join my husband and kids on their treks to the mountains and lakes. If anything, I may have tipped a little too far onto the relaxation side ;-). I took a total of three consecutive weeks off, with a planned two weeks road trip to Vancouver island and then Mt Ranier. Then, due to an epic mountain bike accident (let’s just say, I learned what a Grade 4 kidney laceration is), another week off. I was a little stressed, but overall nothing dire came of my near month off (nor my kidney abuse). Thankfully, I successfully managed to schedule my work around the time away from my desk.Volunteering in my community is important to me; however, my small kids and small business need to take the front seat in my life.

I Never Considered that Volunteering Could Interfere With Work

Since school started again this past fall, I’ve found myself filling my time in other ways, and sliding back into bad habits. I raised my hand when the school’s Parent Teacher Student Association needed a volunteer to help with communications. Then, for the second year in a row, I raised my hand to coach my daughters basketball team. Somehow, I’ve found myself head of the PTSA newsletter, updating the website, and in charge of communications. Easy right? It’s what I do anyway for myself, so why not help out my kids Title 1 school (in other words, a very worthy and needed volunteer role to fill!), by giving my time and expertise?

Identifying the Problem

The problem lies in my inability to modulate. I’m no longer making time to do these communicating tasks for my own business. My personality tendency towards obsession that has helped me excel in my work, has turned against me and made me a grumpy, unhappy, bitter person! Because the PTSA work feels so similar to my normal paid work, I have a really hard time stopping before my day has been spent almost entirely on volunteer work, rather than paid. And coaching basketball… that sounds like fun right? I went into it expecting to occasionally shout, “you have to dribble!”. Instead, I find myself lying awake at night wondering how in the world I can apply a 5-man-open-offense to a 4th graders basketball team, just to get them to stop huddling in the key! I can feel my brain rattling with the pressure, despite recognizing that it’s all silly and brought on myself.

Learning to Say No

Having my head filled with so many other things, I’ve realized I don’t have the headspace I need to conceptualize my science illustrations. I’ve always enjoyed, and taken great pride in crystallizing the concepts clients describe to me through words, into a coherent vision. I can still do it, but it takes SO MUCH EFFORT to find the time and space. I fear if I don’t reclaim that brain real estate, this part of my skills will suffer.

More discreetly, for the first time since cutting back and taking time off when my son was born, my total revenue has decreased. Clearly, some of that is due to me cutting back on total hours by banning the 9pm-2am work nightshift. But as my business coach led me to realize, at this point in my career I should have increased my rates enough to more than compensate for working a normal 40 hour work week, including scheduled time during the work week for creative exploration.

It’s painful to admit that I’ve taken on too much (especially to my husband who has been trying to point this out to me). As much as I might be needed, my time volunteering isn’t sustainable to my family and my business goals.  Although I will continue trying to help in my greater community, I do need to stop saying yes to the point that I’m sacrificing my health. I’ve mistaken not having a boss–beyond myself–as license to spend too much of my time away from my business, and it’s showing.

So for 2020, my New Year’s resolution has been to cut back on what I say yes to in my daily life. I need to reclaim that time to grow my business, and make space to enjoy the work I’m lucky to do.

 

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Related posts:

  1. Creative Business Burnout and Rekindling the Fire
  2. Freelancing with Kids Under Five
  3. Redesigning My Science Illustration Business
  4. SayoStudio Website Design by Claire Agosti of Indiseño Co.

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#sciart—microbes 🔬to galaxies 🔭—Nicolle Fuller leads SayoStudio creating art & animation of science wonders. #scienceillustration

SayoStudio
Did you know you can make a free, DIY water filter Did you know you can make a free, DIY water filter out of wood?! 

Trees naturally have xylem -- a straw like tubing -- to transport water and nutrients into the tree. The pores inside these xylem tubes are very complex on a nanoscale. Water molecules can flow freely through the tubing, but larger bacterial cells get trapped inside the xylem structures.
Because this filtration system removes rotavirus and E. coli, these filters meet the standards set by @WHO for clean, drinkable water. 

Learn more about nanoscientist Krithika Ramchander and Dr. Rohit Karnik's (@mit_engineering) research and see an animation of the xylem catching bacteria on our blog: https://sayostudio.com/science-diy-water-filter-animation

Art and animation created by Nicolle R. Fuller, SayoStudio
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#waterfilter #diywaterfilter #xylemwaterfilter #treefilter #tree #xylem #mit #engineeringweek #engineering #mitengineering #nanoscience #scicomm #sciart #scienceillustration #scientificillustration #sayostudio #animation
Is #ScienceFriday a thing on social media..? It is Is #ScienceFriday a thing on social media..? It is? Then allow us to introduce you to the basics of #StringTheory! ⠀
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String theory is a Theory of Everything (Grand Unification Theory) that seeks to unite the gravitational force with the other fundamental forces (electromagnetism and nuclear forces) that are already described by quantum mechanics at the atomic level. ⠀
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Gaining a foothold in the theoretical physics community during the 1970's, string theory states that fundamental particles such as quarks + electrons are not points of energy or matter, but result instead from the vibrations of one-dimensional ‘string-like’ entities on a far smaller scale. ⠀
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Although string theory is highly debated and very complex, it poses very interesting solutions to why our observed universe acts the way it does. ⠀
What's your take on string theory? ⠀
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Artwork by Nicolle R Fuller, SayoStudio ⠀
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#stringtheory #granreunificationtheory #theoryofeverything #physics #quantummechanics #nuclear #multidimensions #dimensions #sciart #scienceillustration #scicomm #electromagnetism #energy #matter ⠀
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Could neurodegenerative diseases really be caused Could neurodegenerative diseases really be caused by ancient viral infections? ⠀
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The recent discovery of viral proteins in the brains of MS/ALS patients created a mysterious link between human genes and neurodegenerative disease. ⠀
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Researchers are just now beginning to understand how ancient human endogenous retroviruses (or HERVs) affect our immune responses today. HERV proteins cause disruptions of nuclei in cells; triggering the cells to mount an immune response in the central nervous system. This disruption spreads from cell to cell progressively; and is shown to cause significant motor neuron deterioration. ⠀
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You can read more about this research here: https://loom.ly/_uTOBvc ⠀
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Artwork by Nicolle R. Fuller, SayoStudio for @the_scientist_magazine. ⠀
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#msawarenessweek #multiplesclerosis #neurodegenerative #neurodisease #als #ms #medicalillustration #cell #sciart #scicomm #scienceillustration #medart #stem #sayostudio ⠀
Having your heart flutter on Valentine's Day might Having your heart flutter on Valentine's Day might seem normal...but for some, it's a common symptom of atrial fibrillation. 💓

Afib is a heart arrhythmia characterized by irregular or fast beating. Electrical signals in the heart dictate how often your heart pumps-- and for some this can get out of whack, causing palpitations and dizziness. 

Luckily  treatment exists to manage Afib. To learn more, visit the American Heart Association or click the link below: https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/atrial-fibrillation

Artwork by Nicolle R. Fuller, SayoStudio for @popularmechanics
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#AmericanHeartMonth #NationalHeartMonth #Scienceillustration #sciart #hearthealth #americanheartassociation #afib #atrialfibrillation #arrhythmia #valentinesheart #heartart #medicalart #medicalillustration
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